Beyond "Good Job!"

It's the final minutes of a close game, and one of your players misses what should have been an easy first touch. But she can’t quite get her feet right and a scoring opportunity slips away. In that moment, what you say next could either fuel her development or chip away at her confidence for weeks to come.

As coaches, we've all been there. We want to encourage our young athletes, but sometimes our well-intentioned words can actually work against us. The difference between saying "Don't worry, you'll get it next time" and "I saw you adjusting your body position there—let's talk about what to focus on for next time" might seem small, but the impact on a young player's development can be profound.

The Power of Process-Focused Language

Research shows that how we frame feedback fundamentally shapes how young athletes view their abilities and respond to challenges. When we focus our language on effort, strategy, and improvement rather than talent or outcomes, we help players develop what psychologists call a "growth mindset"—the self-belief that abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work.

For youth sports, this isn't just theory. It's the difference between a player who learns from and bounces back from mistakes and one who starts avoiding challenges altogether.

Four Language Shifts That Make All the Difference

Here are some practical ways to transform your feedback conversations:

Instead of: "Great job! You're such a natural athlete!"
Try: "I noticed how you kept working to find space during that attacking sequence. Your persistence really paid off."

The first comment suggests talent is fixed—either you have it or you don't. The second highlights the specific actions and effort that led to success, giving the player a roadmap for repeating it.

Instead of: "You're not concentrating out there!"
Try: "What might help you stay focused on tracking the ball when you're defending?"

Rather than labeling the player, this approach asks them to think about strategies. You might be surprised how often young players have insights into their own challenges.

Instead of: "Don't worry about that missed pass—you'll get it next time."
Try: "I saw you really committed to that through-ball. What did you notice about the weight of your pass?"

This shifts the conversation from consolation to learning. It acknowledges the attempt while encouraging reflection on technique.

Instead of: "You need to be more aggressive in your 1v1s."
Try: "When you're going 1v1, what are some ways of using your first touch to create space?"

This moves beyond a personality judgment ("be more aggressive") to focus on specific, learnable skills.

Making It Stick in Real Time

You might be thinking, "This sounds great in theory, but how do I remember to use this language when I'm in the heat of a game or practice?" Here are some practical strategies:

Start with questions. When you see a moment worth addressing, begin with "What did you notice about..." or "How did that feel when..." This automatically shifts you into growth-oriented territory.

Focus on the process. Instead of commenting on the outcome (goal, save, tackle), describe what you observed about their approach, effort, or decision-making.

Be specific about effort. Rather than generic praise like "good work," describe exactly what you saw: "You stayed balanced through that whole defensive sequence" or "I watched you communicate with your teammate before that overlap."

Remember Your Tone

The tone of what you say is just as important as the words. Keep things positive, free of judgement, and maintain a genuine sense of investment in your players’ success. Smiles and high fives go a long way.

The Ripple Effect

When players hear this kind of feedback consistently, something remarkable happens. They start to see mistakes as information rather than failures. They become more willing to attempt challenging skills. Most importantly, they develop the internal voice that will serve them long after they've stopped playing youth sports.

I've seen players transform when coaches make this shift. The player who used to freeze up after a bad first touch begins experimenting with different receiving techniques. The player who avoided 1v1 situations starts taking on defenders, knowing that the learning process is what matters.

Your Next Steps

Next time your on the field with players, try focusing on just one language shift. Pick the situation where you most often default to generic praise or criticism, and practice reframing it with process-focused language. Pay attention to how players respond—not just in the moment, but in how they approach similar situations in future practices.

Remember, our goal is not just developing better athletes. We're helping young people build the mindset they'll carry into future challenges they’ll face. That's the true power of growth-oriented feedback—and it starts with the words we choose in those crucial coaching moments.

From the CoachCraft Podcast

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